Today, I am...

Exhausted, worn out, weary, emotional, beat, hopeful, peaceful, confident and trusting.  Those are a lot of emotions to be feeling at the same time.  Let me tell you about the last 24 hours.

We got a phone call  yesterday from our Colorado Agency that did our homestudy.  There was a baby that had been born in Florida and did we want to go pick him up the next day.  Uhhhh...come again?  We would be the only family in line if we said yes.  We prayed, we reeled, we tried to figure out how we could make this work.  How could we get to FL in less than 24 hours notice?  What would we do with the kids?  How would Jody swing this with work?  We have NOTHING...I mean NOTHING for the baby yet.  No carseat, no bottles, no formula, no clothes...NOTHING!  Oh and the money.  We were about $12,000 short.  How could we come up with that?  I mean, this was a baby...possibly our son, who needed parents to come and get him.  The agony!!!

We prayed and asked our parents to pray. We looked at all the details and decided that there were too many unknowns to move forward.  We had no details about the baby's health, background of the birth mom, what the exact situation looked like.  We waited and as the hours passed and we still had no information, we decided we could not move forward.  We LOVE our agency in NV. We trust them.  We know that the Lord led us to them for a reason.  We want to use them to adopt our child.  We did not know this FL agency.  We did not know their practices and their level of integrity.

Peace set in and the longer time went by, we knew we had made the right decision.  But, boy is it hard!!!

So, we press on.  We trust on.

We will be presented to a birth mom next week and we know that our child is coming.  In the meantime, I realized that it might be a good idea to gather some things here to have ready.  We trust God that He will bring the finances as we need them!  (We will keep you posted!)  We just received a $5,000 grant, so that is super exciting!!

Here is a list of the things we need. If you have one (or some) of these things that you are no longer using, please let us know!

*  baby monitor (we do not need anything fancy!)
*  newborn and size 1 diapers
*  a bouncy seat
*  a swing
*  bottles
*  formula
*  burp cloths
*  bibs
* You know...all the stuff that you need for a newborn, which I got rid of because I did not know we would need them again...those things!!


Thank you for praying for us!  We so appreciate each and every one of you!  Even though I have so many emotions racing through my veins this day, we are so confident in the one who knows the whole story.  He is the I AM and HE will never leave us or forsake us.  He knew our child would be part of our family from the beginning of time.  In that I put my trust!

  

Walking by faith...

A lot is going on right now.

Grant application #4 was mailed off last week.  We are not expecting to hear back from any of them for a few weeks/months, but hoping and praying that we are chosen for a grant (or six).  We are currently working on two more that will be complete in a few days.  

We sent in our profile books to the agency.  Our profile books are photo scrap books that we put together to give birth moms a little glimpse into our lives.  The birth moms get to look at the profile books and decide which family they feel would be a good fit for the baby.  The agency will start presenting us to birth moms as soon as they can.

"Wait, do you have all the money now to move forward?,"you may ask.  Why no, no we don't.  But, we know God is in control and are moving forward in faith.  We have had some amazing things happen recently where God confirms in us that He has got this.

A few weeks ago, I was praying and crying out to the Lord, feeling so overwhelmed.  I asked Him if we were still heading in the right direction.  Had we missed something?  Hours later, we got an email from a couple who wanted to give to our adoption.  Boom...God is good!

We have been working on a grant and submitted the first portion back in June.  We were supposed to receive a confirmation email giving us the next steps that we have to take.  This is the big grant that we have been looking forward to.  We have friends that received $10,000 from this amazing foundation.  A month went by and we heard nothing.  I thought maybe they never received our first application, so I resubmitted.  Still nothing.  We were starting to feel panicked as the final application process (which is very involved) is due Aug. 15.  I was praying and just asking the Lord what was going on.  He said, clear as ever, "Go check your spam folder".  I ran downstairs and sure enough, there were 3 emails from the foundation.  One of the emails was from the director asking why we re-applied.  I explained the story to her and we kicked it into high gear to get everything in.  Both of our agencies emailed letters within 15 minutes, our references were emailed and have either finished or are in process to finish tomorrow.  Our pastor texted and is coming to conduct the required interview tonight.  Then, we will have the essay portion and email our tax returns and what not and then wait (and pray).  We should know if we got the grant sometime next month.

In the meantime, we are getting the crib ready.  By getting the crib ready, I mean moving a little girl, who loves her crib, into a big girl bed.  I think it will be a process.  She is not a big fan of change but, she is so excited for a new baby to be in the house.  I am hoping that motivation will help the transition.
Please pray as the agency starts presenting our family to birth moms.  Pray for their hearts as they make the hardest decision of their lives.  Pray for our hearts as we wait and hope in the Lord alone.  Pray for preparation for each member of our family as we anticipate this change and excitement.  Praise God with us as we watch Him do His thing!!

We have been so humbled by this experience!

Roller Coaster of Emotions

We have been working on getting all of our paperwork together (very time consuming) for some grant applications due August 15th.
We have been putting the final touches on our profile book and are about to get those printed.
We are trying to be patient.

And then this happened.

We got an email on Friday regarding a birth couple looking for an adoptive family.  They have been presented with all the profiles that the agency has available and the birth mom "feels that she has not located the family that is meant to be for her baby." Even though we do not have our profile done, the agency feels that we are a really close match to what they are looking for and wanted to know if we were interested.

UMMMM...yes!  One little, minor thing.  The money.  We are $18,156.69 away from what we would need to complete this adoption.  

Here is the other crazy detail....baby boy is due on JULY 8!!!!  Yes...as in just over a month from now! 

It has been a roller coaster of emotions ranging from elation to discouragement.  We have full confidence that we are right where we are supposed to be and after much prayer and tears, we have decided that wisdom has won.  Even if we sold all of our possessions, I still don't think we could reach that dollar amount.  And, then where would we sit...let's be practical.  Jody is already working a second job and it is still a slow road.  We will work hard to apply for every grant we can and do all the fundraisers we can and then see where we stand.  

This experience has really made us excited to meet our baby when he comes along. 

Hey, and just in case you have $18,000 laying around, you can send it to: 

Premier Adoption 
590 West Mesquite Boulevard Suite 202B
Mesquite, Nevada 89027

Wink, wink.

Seriously though, please continue to pray for us as we navigate this journey.  Pray for our child.  Pray for grants to start coming in.  Pray for us to have wisdom in our decisions. 
Please pray for the birth family that I mentioned above.  They are in a desperate situation right now.  They are having to make one of the hardest decisions they will ever make in their lives.  Please pray for them!  Please pray for that little baby boy and that he would be placed with the perfect family.  I am so glad that they are waiting to find the right family for their baby.

We are trying to get those shoulder bars down fast enough and I am trying to stop screaming and open my eyes long enough to try to enjoy the ride. 

I hate roller coasters!

What a Week!!

This has been one of those weeks.

Let's have a quick recap:

•  One of the tires on the van went flat.
•  Our sprinklers in the backyard broke. 
• Our dishwasher broke.
• Our brand new toilet won't stop running.
• We had to pay $1200 toward our home study completion that we did not previously know would be due.
• We have had a few tornado warnings (Scary for me!).
• The kids have been on edge...let's be honest...we've all been a bit on edge. 
•  I have been late a lot. (I hate being late.)

This is a picture of what we had to do to cover up the big holes where the sprinklers were when it started raining...it was a quick solution to a potentially muddy situation!!  These little beauties are all around our lawn (so thankful it is our backyard with the problem!).

Thankfully,  we did have some great things mixed in as well...like Anderson (our oldest son) turned 8. Every year on his birthday, we are reminded of God's faithfulness and promises fulfilled!

Big boy!

Oh and our home study is COMPLETE!!  That's right!  It is done!!  Wahoo!!

Our home study will be sent to our agency in Nevada as they compile our profile and get us ready to start presenting our family to birth moms.  We LOVE, LOVE our agency in Nevada!  Premier Adoption has been the best!  They are so helpful, organized, professional, knowledgeable and patient!

We now move into the next phase of applying for grants and ramping up some fundraising.  We are still about $18,000 away from what we need (sigh).

Please pray for us as we get closer to meeting our baby.  Would you please pray for protection over our family!  Pray for things to stop breaking and that whatever comes our way, we would look to the ONE who is our protector and our provider and our strength.  Pray for us as we apply for a number of grants.  Pray that we are considered to receive some much needed funding!!  Please pray for that birth mom who has some hard and selfless decisions ahead of her.

Thank you so, so much!!  I cannot tell you how much it means to us to have people out there praying for us and lifting us up!

Here's hoping for a much less eventful week ahead...or at least for less breakage!!        

We Just Need One "Yes"

“Nope. No way. Not a chance. I don’t think so. Not here. Try again. No. No!” That about sums up the last 5 months of the adoption process. It doesn’t bother us (well, to a certain extent). We know that all we need is one yes!

From the beginning, we had thought we would adopt from some exotic locale. First we thought it would be the Caribbean, then Africa, then Asia, then South America, back to the Caribbean, and you know what we kept hearing from everywhere we looked? Sorry, your situation doesn’t work for us. What?! Come on!

So, we have searched high and low, east and west, north and south, and we are very excited to announce that the exotic land from which God will provide a child for us is…DRUMROLL PLEASE…wait for it…here it comes…Nevada.

We heard from people at the very beginning of the process that possibly the best way to get an international baby is by adopting from America, and in our case, that might be true!

We looked at and researched A LOT of agencies!  Some were not accepting new families, some were in a state with really hard laws for adoptive parents, and others were just plain sketchy.  We wanted to find a very organized, well-run agency with integrity within a state that had laws protecting adoptive parents.

So we’re sitting around one night, feeling a little bit defeated, and Jody says, “Hey, you know your AUNT that works for that ADOPTION agency?” “Yes.” “What about her agency?” “Oh yeah, guess we hadn’t thought of that one, yet.”

Hmmm. Wouldn’t that be interesting? You see, eight years ago my aunt and uncle had a random urge to move from the East Coast to a tiny town in Southern Utah (I don’t know that they would call it “random” but at the time they knew no one there, had never lived in the state, and didn’t have any ties to it AT ALL). She worked for a pregnancy crisis center there for a number of years and now works for an adoption agency based out of Nevada. What if one of the reasons God brought them to Utah was to lead us to our child?? What if?!

It has been so interesting to watch all the pieces fall into place.  We were so impressed by the organization of the office, the love and respect for the birth moms, and knowledge that the staff possesses. Not to mention, the laws for adoptive parents are ideal. We are excited!

Current completed checklist.

Country Chosen               X

State Chosen                 X

Agency Chosen               X

Home Study Complete     X

                   

Specific Prayer requests:

Protection and wisdom for the birth mom to make good choices, especially during the first trimester.

Our kids as they prepare for the adjustment.  

Provision. We’re just under halfway to what we need to pay for the adoption. Surprisingly, domestic adoptions cost the same, if not more, than international adoptions.

Do we have confidence that God will provide all that we need and more? Yes. Do we know exactly what that will look like? No. Are we excited to see what God does next and which mom will choose our family? YES! And that’s all we need. 

What are you waiting for?

This freezing winter weather has caused hold ups and delays all over the country.  More than 3,000 flights were cancelled and 12,000 delayed yesterday due to snow, freezing rain and ice.  It is so frustrating to know where you are supposed to be going and not able to get there!  

We are in a holding pattern of sorts as we pray and seek the Lord in this adoption journey. We are about to have our first of three home visits, which means our home study is not far from being complete.  We are moving forward with fundraising and watching the Lord provide amazingly.  We keep hearing the Lord telling us to prepare and then be patient and just wait. We will have direction...when it is time.  Psalm 37:7a says, "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him."   

The definition of patiently is, "bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness."  Or, "capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; not hasty or impulsive."  

This really spoke to my heart.  Am I calmly awaiting an outcome or result?  Hmmm...how calm am I really? 

What are you waiting for today?  That answer from the doctor?  A job possibility?  A spouse?  A friend?  An answered prayer?  A little child to listen and obey when you ask instead of rebelling against every little instruction you give?  No?  Just me?     

Well, this is what I know.  God is in control.  He knows exactly what we need.  As we wait, He draws us closer to Him.  He knows the steps.  He knows my next child and where they are in this world.  He knows what I need in order to prepare for this little one.  He knows what a perfect fit they will be in our family.  He knows what they need.  In that, I find hope and courage and peace and a sense of calm.  

Let me tell you, I am happy that I am not sleeping in an airport today and I realize that there are so many delays in life.  This adoption journey is turning out to be one bumpy ride (probably going to be using the provided barf bag).  

So glad to know the pilot!  

What a story!

I love to tell stories!  I love to tell stories about all the crazy things that have happened to us and all the things that the Lord has done in my life.  I love to make people laugh with my rendition of the situation, including voices for all characters.

One of my favorite stories happened after we had struggled with infertility for over 4 years.  We had been told by all the doctors we had seen that we were "fine" and they were not sure what was "wrong." Finally, we made an appointment to see a reproductive endocrinologist to look further into our situation.  Two weeks before my appointment was scheduled, we found out we were pregnant.  We were elated!  I was so excited to make the phone call to cancel my appointment with the infertility doctor.  With a very bubbly, cheerful voice, I said, "Hello, I need to cancel my appointment."  The receptionist answered, "Did you want to reschedule?"  I answered, "No!  I would not!!  I do not need to see the doctor any more.  Do you want to know why?"  Silence.  "I will not need to see the doctor because...I am...(dramatic pause)...PREGNANT!!!!"  She mustered, "Hmmm...that's great."  I jumped in, "I know! Can you believe it?"  Awkward silence.  "OK, well, thank you."

We got some news last Thursday.  (NO...I am not pregnant!)  We found out that we no longer meet the requirements to adopt from the Congo.  On September 25th, the DRC suspended issuing all exit visas.  What this means is that a family that has gone through the whole entire adoption process and has legally become the parents of their newly adopted child, cannot take that child out of the DRC because the Congolese government will not issue an exit visa.  There are many reasons that this suspension happened and one of the reasons was for the government to look at and revise their current requirements for adoptive parents.  One of the requirements that was previously in place, but in all cases waived was the requirement that the adoptive family could only have 2 children living in the home at the time of adoption.  SO...that excludes us!  We could go through the whole process and take a major chance that the final judge in the DRC would grant a waiver, but that would be a huge gamble that we are just not willing to take.

We are now seeking the Lord as to our next steps.  Please, please join us in prayer for this little one, wherever they may be!  Pray for clear direction and open doors.  Pray for provision and clarity.  Pray for us to have open hearts and wisdom to know where He is calling us.

In this last month, we have been working towards completing our home study.  We have applied for our passports, had our fingerprints taken, been to the doctor and filled out lots of paperwork!  We have almost completed it, except for the small details like...you know, where in the world we will adopt from and what agency we will use.  Minor details, right?

In the meantime, God has been knocking our socks off and reassuring us again and again that HE has got this under control!  On Christmas day, we got a call from some friends and God had put it on their hearts to give towards the adoption.  Let me just mention that the money given to us was supposed to go towards a diamond bracelet.  The sweet wife said she really wanted the money to be spent on something that mattered (not that diamond bracelets don't matter, but come on, how awesome is that??).  (Cried for a long time) WOW!

Then, two weeks later we got an email from another set of friends that are going through the terrible tragedy of losing their 2 year old son.  After his passing, in lieu of flowers, they had people give to a fund.  After much prayer, the Lord led them to us.  How amazing that their son's story and life will live on through our child and they will forever be interwoven (yah, cried for a really long time about this one!!).

We are really walking by faith here and trusting in His perfect timing!

When we FINALLY found out we were pregnant with #1, we were in awe of God's goodness to us.  Even though we had walked through some really hard times to get there, it was all worth it and the timing was perfect.  Literally, he was born the day after J's last Law School final!!!

As much as I love stories and telling stories, I can already see that the story of our next child and how they will come to our family is going to be the best!  I cannot wait to tell them all of these things one day and tell them of God's faithfulness and perfect timing.  They have been sent to this Earth with a purpose and a plan and it was no mistake!  They are perfectly and wonderfully made and I know this full well.

Let the story begin!!!